Saturday, May 20, 2006

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed. I'm ready to go... I wish I didn't have to say good-bye.

But I'm leaving on a jet plane today, headed for my "Homeland" of the United States of America. It's been a year and a half since my last time on American soil, and -- to be honest -- I feel anxious. Kind of excited and kind of nervous. Not exactly sure what to expect...

What if I don't like America any more? What if I've changed a lot in the last year and a half -- or if America has changed a lot in the last year and a half? Familiarity, family, friends, fun... These are my memories and mental constructs of American life, but can the reality match up to the idealized notion spawned by such an extended absence? It will be hard if I go back and find myself a foreigner in my own land.

But then -- what if I really like being back in America? What if it feels like a foot in an old, comfortable sneaker? What if I find myself wondering how I ever could have adapted to anything else? I've actually come to enjoy my life in Holland recently. It's also come to represent familiarity, family, friends, and fun... But can I bear it if I must start all over again, upon my return to Amsterdam? Readjustment, culture shock, homesickness? It will be hard if I return to a difficult life in Amsterdam after a month of idealism in America.

But these questions will be answered soon enough. And I have faith that God will use the process in my life, no matter how it goes.

Here we go.

2 Comments:

At 10:27 PM, Blogger Krista Davis said...

Those same thoughts were racing through my head this morning as i drove through the Canadian countryside... how can i love Canada so much, and yet deserately miss Poland already (after 3 days of being on Canadian soil)??? I can feel like a stranger in my own land, yet see that it is a gift because i see and treasure all of the little things i used to take for granted...

 
At 7:31 PM, Blogger Eric Asp said...

It is somehow comforting, isn't it? To know that these cross-cultural phenomena are not unusual. We may be freaks of nature, but at least we are freaks of nature together...

 

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