Afterglow of Unpleasantries

I've been told that I'm a natural administrator -- that I have a "gift" when it comes to organization and administration... But I must confess that I'm not so sure.

If I were a natural administrator, shouldn't I enjoy tasks such as organizing my personal library, or balancing a checkbook, or filling out paperwork, or arranging for the logistical elements of an event? Shouldn't I get a natural high from working with numbers, papers, and lists? Wouldn't it seem logical that my gift of administration should manifest itself in pride and joy when it comes to opportunities to administrate?

And yet, I find myself dreading these prototypical "administrative" tasks, often procrastinating until the last possible moment and basically trying to avoid such tedium as much as possible. Consequently, I often feel very unorganized, ineffective in administration, and just plain frustrated by the details of life.

But this week, I've taken the proverbial bull by the proverbial horns.

With a mountain of administrative tasks piled up around me, I decided that this would be my week to dig out. Thus within the last seven days, I've reapplied for residence permits for my family (which involved a trip with kids to the stadsdeelkantoor for a copy of my neighborhood registration, a trip with kids to the photography store for passport photos, and approximately 200 copies of various documents)... I've written a number of employment documents for another staff member with Zolder50 (job description, employment agreeement, letter of appeal for work permit, etc.)... I've filled out a series of expense reports (reimbursements are always nice, in that they put money back in my pocket, but the meticulous process of organizing receipts and tallying numbers tends to drive me crazy!)... I've read through a thick stack of documents (much of them written not just in Dutch, but in institutional Dutch -- like terms of reference for accepting a student intern from a Dutch seminary and legal jargon surrounding government permits)... I've reorganized my home library (including the assembly of some new bookshelves)... I've paid some bills... I've sat in on some organizational meetings... I've cleared my e-mail inbox (well, mostly cleared -- I'm sure everyone knows how that goes)... In general, I've administrated like a true administrator.

And now I find myself in an interesting position. Finally having completed (well, mostly completed) my mountain of administration, I actually find myself basking in the warm afterglow of a week's unpleasantries. That's right -- basking. While I wasn't looking forward to these opportunities for administration, I realize that there is a certain indescribable satisfaction that wells up within me from methodically checking items off my "to do" list. It turns out that my emotions toward a completed list of administrative tasks are, in fact (dare I admit it?), pride and joy.

So what does this mean? How should I interpret my callings, my responsibilities, my virtues, and my vices? Could it be that there may be a gift of administration nestled somewhere within me after all? Or am I simply responding to the latent desire within each human being to be productive? Unfortunately, I cannot muse on these questions for long. I'd better be checking my e-mail...