Funny Lion

My lines are tightly scripted, said with feigned enthusiasm: "Tonight, we're going to have church!" I don't know why I'm saying this, or what I'm doing here; yet I'm sitting on a red upholstered ottomon, holding up a blanket, serving as a curtain. Then, perpetuating this moment of pageantry, I drop the arm which holds the blanket curtain and grandly announce, "Come on out, funny guys!"

Elmo is the first to come out, popping up from his hiding place in the "hole" between the bookshelf and the small sofa. Like some kind of Abbot and Costello routine, I banter with Elmo: "Where are the other funny guys, Elmo?"

He deadpans, "They're still down there in the hole."

"Well, tell 'em to come on out, Elmo!" On cue, Monkey pops up from his hiding place. And there, Elmo and Monkey sit together, looking out across the "auditorium." After a short pause, I ask the next logical question (which has also been meticulously fed to me by the mastermind of the entire program): "But where's the Lion, guys?"

Elmo shoots back, predictably, "He's still down there in the hole."

And winding up my voice like Rod Roddy, I bellow: "Well, tell him to come on out!" In a climactic moment fitting of le Cirque du Soleil, the Lion bursts forth from the hole. He provides his own audio effects, aurally simulating the sound of a massive audience cheering as he runs around the circuit of the stage, smiling broadly and waving his arms as if to encourage his audience to greater heights of excitement. It's obvious that this is the Lion's show, and he revels in the moment. Scooping Elmo and Monkey to his sides, the Lion runs boldly toward me, and the threesome immediately overpower me with a gang tackle. It is a moment in which the Lion seems to intuitively know the ecstacy of the audience, for after the laughter and applause die down, he barks out instructions to reset the stage. Everyone moves quickly in response.

The curtain is extended, the funny guys return to their hole, and I begin again -- trying my best not to drone -- "Tonight, we're going to have church..."