Friday, April 29, 2005


Change is fun for Olivia. For me, however, the word is not typically associated with a pleasant experience. In fact, change makes me feel anxious, exhausted, uncomfortable...

I much prefer homeostasis. I enjoy a regular schedule, knowing where and when I'm going to be at a given point in time. I like to order the "usual" things at my "usual" restaurants: tomato soup from Café Toussaint, bacon cheeseburger from the Hard Rock Cafe, McNuggets Super McMenu with barbecue sauce and Coca-cola (or with Sprite, if I'm really feeling crazy). No matter the aspect of transformation, it's hard for me to embrace change and look forward to an uncertain future. It scares me to think about moving... or changing relationships with friends... or assuming new roles in life... I don't like change.

But change is definitely fun for Olivia. In fact, it's probably one of the most enjoyable aspects of life for her. And I guess when I think about it, this makes sense (at least for her). It makes sense because in those minutes on the "changing table" in her room, going through the process of being "changed," Olivia receives the undivided attention of her Daddy or Mommy. The mess is cleaned up, and everything is made fresh and new. She must simply gaze and grin at the face of her benefactor, just centimeters away from her own face, and she just soaks in the experience. She loves change because it means touch, and conversation, and love.

I think that I can learn from Olivia. I may never be one to crave change, or rush to seek radical change in life... but I can still learn to value and appreciate the beauty of change.


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