Saturday, July 23, 2005


So it's 3:10 in the morning, and I am incapable of sleep. My body simply will not rest. My overzealous immune system has kicked into hyperdrive, and I am suffering through one of my all-time worst episodes of hay fever... It's not pretty.

Why does my body do this? It's just some stupid pollen or spores or something like that. Other people can live and move and breathe normally -- no matter how much of these environmental agents fill the air -- but for me, in the presence of these "toxins," I go crazy. My sinuses, my throat, my eyes are incapacitated. Normal facial tissues are a waste of time; I drip mucous at a rate that requires paper towels to catch the flow. Disgusting. Ridiculous. I'm puzzled by the meaning and purpose of allergies.

Perhaps I'm just tired, and perhaps it's just too much pillow-wrestling philosophy -- but I wonder about the implications of physical allergies, emotional allergies, and even spiritual allergies...

Does everyone have some weak point that -- for the "common man" -- is merely an overreaction to normal environmental stimuli? Are allergies a uniquely human phenomenon? Are such overblown automatic responses a sign of personal uniqueness or commonality? I mean, seriously -- think about it. I'm allergic to ragweed or mold spores or cats... My sister cannot tolerate a molecule of dietary gluten... Other people cannot use penicillin... And of course, we'd all recognize these as allergies. But what about alcoholism? Agnosticism? Addiction? Aversion to authority? Emotional transparency? Fear of commitment? The more I think about it, the more I can see how our bodies, our minds, and our souls can reacte strangely to seemingly random triggers. And again, I'm puzzled by the meaning and purpose of allergies.

I need to get back to bed. I just wish I knew how to heal, how to breathe, how to rest. I guess we're all looking for that, in a way. Gezondheid.


At 2:53 AM, Anonymous mom said...

What a unique way of looking at things! I'm going to have to think about that...


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